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Photograph by Julio-Adrian

From the get-go, my heart for my business has earnestly been to utilize my gifts to serve others. Which is why I cringe to admit this. At the beginning of the year, I was feeling a sense of resentment towards the people I was working with. I felt rushed, underpaid, and overworked. My light had gone out and my joy was slipping. I scribbled down “God help me shift to a perspective of gratitude and optimism, please let this year look different. Let this year look a little bit more abundant than last year. I’m not sure how to reform my business, but I believe that you know and are willing to show me.” I had been in business full time for a year at that point, so I (sort of) knew what I was doing, but knew I had to make some changes. There was so much dissonance between this resentment I was feeling and my heart’s original vision for my business. I think it’s so important that we stop and reflect when this shows up, and to ask ourselves what the disconnect is.

What did the process back to yourself look like?

It’s an interesting transition when the thing you love to do most becomes your source of livelihood. I’m a bit of a control freak, so when a client wanted something other than what I wanted, I would get all bent out of shape. But I made a simple discovery this year that was pivotal for me. I can give the client what they want, but make a version that satisfies me, too. This way I still have the opportunity to create something that I am proud of, which is what I needed to keep me going. There is so much freedom in releasing this control. The second game changer for me was implementing boundaries for myself. As un-romantic as it may be to talk about, setting financial boundaries is crucial if you want your endeavor to be a fruitful and sustainable experience. I’ve seen burnout happen more often than I’d like, which is why I think it’s important to talk about. These evaluations, believe it or not, are what have saved and restored my joy with this pursuit. It’s impossible to create wholeheartedly when you are crippled by the fear of making end’s meat.

How did you find your voice?

I think of the quote by Jeff Walker that says, “Every yes must be defended by a thousand no’s.” My voice has always been there- it had just been drowned out by other noise. I’ve learned to “say no” to anything that does not feel like a pure representation of my craft. This is a discipline and it is not easy. I can’t count how many times I’ve received a gallery of professional images of my work that I don’t end up showing - the images are absolutely stunning, but they don’t represent me. The way an image is framed and shot is just as much of a design decision as the work itself. It can feel like a huge waste, but it’s worth it to protect your voice from being compromised. I’m proud of the voice I have established for myself, and I believe people when they say it is distinguishable. This is maybe one of the few times my control issues work in my favor, hah! Additionally, I will say that my aesthetic reflects what I strive for in life- simplicity, grace, clarity, and moments of serenity.

How did you reignite your passion for your creativity?

I can think of a few answers to this, but first and foremost, finding ways to create sparks of magic with my gifts! For me specifically, using my gifts to contribute to creative retreats and ministry, or even personal gatherings, has given me so much energy and inspiration! Some of my favorite things that I’ve made have come out of these side ventures. Think about how you can merge your gifts with life’s mission, there’s always an overlap.

How did this impact you as a whole? Not just in the creative realm.

These side ventures that I have contributed to have become some of my favorites memories. They are the experiences I longed for most in life, because they revolved around connecting with people. Had I pushed them aside or written them off as irrelevant or unprofitable, I really would have missed out. Pay attention to the things that ignite your imagination and invite you to re-meet yourself.

How would you encourage someone who needs to return to themselves?

Let go of expectations. Down in your core, you have some unruly ideas. You’ve probably silenced them, because they’re not mainstream. Maybe even a little bit sensible. But you were given unique ideas and perspective- let those ideas come to life! This will give you more momentum than anything. Plus, going against the grain is what makes you irreplaceable.

Pinpoint the things that make you feel alive and do more of that. Pinpoint the things that make you feel like garbage and do less of that.

PHOTOGRAPH GALLERIES

DETAILS

Photographs by Meagan Floris | Designs by Old City Mailroom

DETAILS

Photographs, Calligraphy, & Designs by Old City Mailroom